Mike Leach: The Real QB Whisperer

*One quick note, Art Briles and his disciples have been omitted. Any man that is part of what happened in Waco deserves to burn in hell*

Is Mike Leach greatest Quarterback coach of all time? Is Mike Leach Americas foremost expert on Pirates?  Is Mike Leach the greatest post-game press conference sound bite maker ever? The answer to all these questions is, probably. It’s about time Mike Leach be given the credit he deserves for creating some of the best college quarterbacks of all time. Now you might be saying to yourself, “This guy is crazy”. Well I might be, thats not for you to decide, I’m the only one who can determine if I’m crazy so you can print this out fold it in half, fold it in half again and then shove it STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS. Now that we have that settled let’s get back to the point, let’s examine the quarterbacks that have played for Mike Leach and the players they went on to develop.

In Mike’s illustrious career he has had 7 notable players emerge from his program that have gone on the be coaches in various capacities. Some are coaching position groups in the NFL and others are leading teams to the College Football Playoff. Let’s Start with those that aren’t under the spotlight but still having an impact on the world’s most important sport. What a beautiful game it is. AMERICAN FOOTBALL

Let’s start with Graham Harrell, he played under The Legend at Texas Tech from 2004 to 2008. In his time at Texas Tech he came within striking distance of breaking the all-time TD passing record. He currently holds or is tied for 8 NCAA record, most notably are the number of games he passed for over 400yds (21). It’s actually amazing that the record hasn’t been broken already. This speaks to his passing prowess in a time when defense was still being played. After his illustrious college carreer, Josh bounced around between the NFL and CFL for a few years before being reunited with his former offensive coordinator Dana Holgorsen. During his only season at Oklahoma State, he tutored future first-round pick Brandon “The Weed Man” Weeden, former first-round pick of the Cleveland Browns. After 1 season at OSU Graham left for the CFL, guess what, it didn’t last long. He then proceeded to sign on with the staff at Washington State University working for The Legend. From then on Graham has bounced around to various Offensive Coordinator positions with varying degrees of success.

It is very possible that one of the biggest impacts to the game of college football occurred in Norman, Oklahoma in 1999. It was in this year that the legend was the Offensive Coordinator/Quarterback Coach for the mighty Oklahoma Sooners. During his single season at Oklahoma, he would produce one of the first and most significant Air Raid quarterbacks to ever walk the face of the earth. That happens to be Josh Heupel, you don’t know who he is? He is only the man that coached Heisman trophy winner Sam Bradford at Oklahoma. you’re now asking yourself why this is significant. You imbecile, Sam Bradford single handedly changed the way first-round picks are paid in the NFL, he has made a metric shit tone of money and did nothing to deserve it. Don’t get me spun up you Jerkass. On top of his tutelage of Sam Bradford he also coached the greatest Tight-End to ever play the Quarterback position, that’s right he turned Blake “The Belldozer” Bell into a winning college quarterback. I bet you didn’t know he is playing in the NFL at his natural position of 3rd string Tight End for the Sacksonville Jaguars. After his time at Oklahoma, he moved to SEC powerhouse Missouri where he has coached Drew Lock, if Lock played literally anywhere else, he would be a top 10 pick and people would actually know who he is. You ever been to Missouri? Neither have I, BOOM Roasted.  He is now the head coach of the Central Florida Knights and we all know how that’s going.

Let’s talk about Jake baby, let’s talk about Tech and Cal, and the turnovers that may be, let’s talk about Jake baby.

If you haven’t figured it out yet we are going to talk about Jake Sapavital. Jake has had multiple stints at West Virginia University under The Other Legend Dana Holgorsen. Mr. Spavital as he shall be referred to has a laundry list of the who’s who in the Air Raid offense. Shall we just list them, I think we shall:

Geno Smith, just your run of the mill first round pick. Johnny “Fucking Football” Manziel, oh look another first-round pick and Heisman trophy winner. Kenny “Trill” Hill, kinda sucked if we’re being honest. Kyle “Loud Wet Fart Noise” Allen, surprisingly this guy is in the NFL, looks good in shorts. Kyler Murray, let’s put a bookmark in this section, we shall dive in deeper. Davis Webb got drafted in the late rounds and currently keeps the bench warm in New York. Will Grier, jury is still out on this guy, but my guess is that he might be sharing a closet in New York with his buddy Davis Webb. Who am I kidding they are going to live in Connecticut with all the other rich white people. Mr. Spavital has recently accepted the Head Coaching position at the Harvard of south-central Texas, Texas State University, famous Alumni include that one former president. I forget his name and don’t want to look it up.

O Kliff, you lady killer you. I know it can be tough slaying all that poontang in West Texas. But you didn’t have to go and ruin the greatest homecoming of all time so you could go out to Southern California and impregnate all those famous people. Don’t get me wrong, I think it will probably be a good time. But what about all the college football fans who love the sweet storylines. Is the clam that much better California, I don’t think so. Hope you’re happy, wrap it before you tap it good buddy. This guy coached Case Keenum, Johnny Manziel, Baker Mayfield, Davis Webb, and Kyler Murray. Just three Heisman trophy winners, no big deal. Kliff had quite the college career while orchestrating the Air Raid offense at Texas Tech, he currently holds the record for most plays in a single season

To round out the young bucks of the group lets talk about the current College Coaching darling, Lincoln Riley. First off, change your name, it makes you sound like a orphan from the 1890’s. Was your father immediately disappointed in you, like you flew out of the vagina and the doctor looked at your dad and said “Yous a bitch”. Anyways, I digress, Mr. 1890 has done all right for himself. He has claimed the sloppy seconds of the state of Texas and turned them into Heisman Trophy winners. Baker Mayfield has the biggest set of balls a man has ever possessed, nuff said. Let’s spend a little bit of time on this next guy, just some short kid from nowhere Texas named Kyler Murray, not sure if you know this or not but he won an absurd amount of football games while in High School. Kyler Murray may end up being the Swan Song of the Mike Leach system. That’s enough time. Lincoln also gets an honorary mention for being the Wide Receivers Coach at Texas Tech in 2007, the same year that Michael Crabtree and Wes Welker graced the plains of west Texas with their presence.

Last but not least is the man with one of the most inspiring personalities ever, Dana Holgorsen. Dana spent quite a bit of time around the legend through his days. You may be asking, how are Dana and Mike connected. Well let me tell you, Dana happened to be on the Iowa Wesleyan football team the year The Legend created what we now know as the Air Raid offense. After his playing days Dana followed The Legend to Valdosta State and then again to Texas Tech. After a short time together at Valdosta State they parted ways for multiple stints at directional schools. But they then reunited on the plains of West Texas where they birthed one of the greatest Quarterback Lineages ever seen. Dana has had his fair share of prolific Quarterbacks throughout the years, let’s not forget the days of Geno Smith and Clint Trickett all the way up to his latest product, Will Grier.

Let’s go back to the original queries that spawned this adventure. Just based on this brief history it’s easy to understand why Mike Leach is the foremost expert on pirates, he’s already mastered the art of creating Quarterbacks. He has also mastered the craft of acting and talking to the media as displayed by his wonderful performance in this hit show “Friday Night Lights” and a recent press conference where he addresses the concept of weddings. In his acting debut he talks to a fictional football coach about swinging your sword, which in this case I think might just be a euphemism for swinging your dick.

This fairly decently covers The Legends history, but we are missing one key component. What about his time at Washington State, besides growing the legend his Quarterbacks continue to slang that shit all over the yard. His most recent product might be better known for his Mustache than his play on the field, although he did break Jared Goff’s Pac-12 passing record and led the team to 11 wins, which has never happened as WSU.

So, do I actually think that Mike Leach is the greatest Quarterback Coach of all time, yes you idiot I do. Why do you think I took the time to read all of these peoples Wikipedia pages and dig up a clip of Mike Leach in a fucking worthless TV show? Get outta here with that shit. If Mike Leach has taught us anything, just keep swinging your sword and eventually, it will hit the target.

Come yell at me on Twitter Dot Com – @chrisladkins

Author: Chris Adkins

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