Underrated Friday: Jorts, Whiskey and the Endzone Fade

Welcome to Underrated Friday, where Chris writes musings about things he thinks are underrated, Your opinion doesn’t matter, only Chris’s opinions matter.

Welcome to the first Friday of November, when was the last time you stayed up until 2 am to watch San Jose State almost pull off the WIN OF THE CENTURY? Well for me it was two weeks ago on a glorious Saturday night here in H-Town. I was sipping(Chugging) a perfectly (Heavy) poured glass of Angels Envy with the roundest (oddly lopsided for a silicone mold) ball of ice. As I watched my beloved Trojans (Spartans) I began to contemplate the wonderful drink in my hand; it was sweet but not too sweet and way better than any other liquor drink. Whiskey has the amazing ability to calm the nerves of a late night non-cover and the amazing ability to cause the worlds worst hangover.

This brings me to the Endzone corner fade; I love the fade three times in a row from the two yd line. It is a thing of beauty, especially in college football. More time than not the ball gloriously starts that amazing rainbow arc and begins its flutter into the crisp autumn air. Then it lands 5 yards out of bounds, and there is a heap of humans all tangled up and sweaty pushing each other like its the other guy’s fault they didn’t catch the ball and a referee waving his arms across each other like the whole world didn’t know the pass was incomplete. It is a thing of beauty. Then my second favorite part happens. Its now second and goal and all those smart football people get together, here’s how that conversation goes:

QB: We were so close coach. Almost had the separation we needed.

OC: Great Throw kid

Head Coach: Any ideas for 2nd down?

QB and OC in unison: let’s run it again to the other side Coach.

Head Coach: FUCK IT LETS DO IT AGAIN

Then it happens, they run it back. It doesn’t work this time either, and everybody is so surprised and so am I. How in the hell did it not work the second time? Then they try and run a jet sweep on third down that loose 5 yards. Field Goal for 3. Series Over. They will do it all again on the next drive. Before you know it, the kicker has five field goals of less than 30 yards.

This brings me to the glue that holds life together, which is different than the glue they make from horses (HEEEYYYYOOOOO). When was the last time you wore Jorts? When was the last time you made your own Jorts? When was the last time you made your own jorts and you were sober? The airflow provided by a pair of homemade Jorts is an amazing feat of science. The one popular scientist guy should be very proud at his accomplishments, not Bill Nye, the other one in all those memes. For your viewing please, below is the Me Gusta Sports crew with Whiskey. Odd? Nope, normal. Come find me on twitter @chrisladkins

Author: Chris Adkins

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